Earlier I arrived at my scheduled appointment with my back surgeon. We didn’t even get started talking about my health before I knew they needed to check my blood pressure ASAP. My face was flush and I felt extremely light headed. In addition my legs were just aching and trembling. Plus my right shoulder was throbbing with pain surging throughout my arm. The second it was checked the nurse said we’ve got to get you to an ER or Urgent Care.
I felt something going on prior to my arrival that I knew just wasn’t right. They were surprised my blood pressure could be so high considering I had already taken an emergency only Valium 55 minutes earlier. My doctor dialogued with me briefly and then I just lost it. My tears were more than someone hurting or afraid. They were tears of brokenness. I have to admit that I’ve finally hit my absolute breaking point.
This has been building for days and one might say over the past 34 months. But, this time God has sent me a clear memo. I can’t at this time take anything lightly and must make some major adjustments to find any greater healing. My humanity has reared it’s ugly ahead. I will be making some immediate changes so please keep me in your prayers. I’m much calmer right this moment as they say I’ll be waiting in this room for 20-25 minutes. With God’s help I will be alright. But, only God can heal the brokenness that consumes me. I will keep you all informed as I become informed. But, it just does me good to process just a glimpse of my struggle and emotion.