I’m just 5 days away from the implant surgery of my long awaited Spinal Cord Stimulator. The past year has by far been the most difficult season of my life. I’ve been trying to recover from major back surgery the past 14 months. I am very optimistic this implanted device will significantly reduce the nerve pain that presently surges throughout my lower body.
Of course, just like with my back surgery there are no guarantees. Anytime you implant something man made into a God made body there are no perfect scenarios. However, I did have the opportunity of trying out this device for a week. Based on that positive experience greater hope appears in front of me.
Now, I could never put into words how this journey has impacted my everyday life and family. First, I’ve not been able to return to full time work for over 17 months and counting. Secondly, I’ve not been able to “enjoy” doing much of anything physically. Thirdly, I’ve just felt like my entire life has been at a standstill since experiencing a slip and fall accident that occurred 21 months ago.
I would be quick to say that while I’ve had many times of heartache I’ve seen God at work every step of the way. I’ve seen that no matter where life finds you God is near. I’ve learned that even when you feel totally uncertain God is still very certain. I experienced the fact that God’s grace is sufficient and His strength is enough. I’ve concluded that it’s definitely during the greatest of trials that God not only teaches us the most, but plans to use us the most.
After all, what greater platform for God to showcase His ability than when it’s obvious you have little to no ability. I’m convinced that whatever hardship we experience God has plans to use it for our good and His glory. Yes, it’s often hard to enjoy a relentless storm in our lives. Yet, it’s also hard to deny all the ways God uses that storm to teach us and grow us.
Now, if you asked me how I presently feel my answer might not sound very positive. For I would quickly say that I’m exhausted, miserable, and would just like this all to be over. However, I would never deny the fact that God has used this time to build my endurance, faith, and character every step of the way. You see, I know deep within that God’s will is what matters most in the end. Therefore, I’m willing to embrace this uncomfortable, but fruitful time in my life. I would greatly appreciate your prayers as my implant surgery takes place this Thursday, July 7th. God bless you all.
“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:2-4)