I’m more grateful for the things I used to overlook. Before I never thought it was a big deal to be able to work, play, and run whenever you choose. Oh, what I would I give to be out on a boat fishing with my almost 16 year old. Oh, what I would give to take my wife out on a date and not feel like the pain was disrupting conversation. Oh, what I would give to take my 7 year old on a piggy back ride. In fact, I bet he would love it if daddy could just jump on the trampoline with him.
I’m certainly more aware of other’s pains. I’ve always loved people, but now I know how pain disrupts every aspect of life. I know what its like to feel powerless to change your circumstance. I know what it’s like to feel like your pain will never end and that you’re always a burden. I can easily recognize pain deep in other people’s eyes. And, I always take the time to bring what comfort I can because I know they need someone to care and seek to understand.
I’m by far more prayerful. Let’s just be honest, it often takes crisis to bring us to our knees. But, when the pain is never ending it keeps you on your knees. I’ve never prayed harder or longer about something in my life. Most of all, I’ve learned to pray sincerely “His will, not my will be done.”
I know my faith is stronger. God has been building my faith step by step through this journey. I’m learning how to endure, be patient, and trust even when I can’t clearly see where this will lead. For many months now I’ve known this was a purposeful journey that God has allowed in my life. It’s not my job to figure it all out, but to trust that God will work all things out.
“These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold–though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.” (1 Peter 1:7)