Aimee and I dated 4 ½ years before we tied the knot. We have been married for over 17 years. Like any marriage our relationship has never been perfect. Always a work in progress made possible by the grace of God. I have no doubt that we are a match made in Heaven. Unfortunately, I have observed many marriages that were far from Heavenly . Marriage is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make in this life. Here are some key qualities you should look for before you say, “I Do.”
#1 MARRY SOMEONE YOU REALLY KNOW. Puppy love often looks through rose colored glasses. Many so want the relationship to work, they totally disregard reality. Many today marry someone they’ve only known through the internet or have only known for a short while. I’m a firm believer that some things can’t be rushed, but can be revealed. True character reveals itself over time. Part of the dating process is not just pondering who you could live with, but who you can’t live without. Make sure you know the person in front of you before you say “I Do”. Otherwise, you’re likely to wake up to a total stranger.
#2 MARRY SOMEONE WITH INTEGRITY. Don’t marry someone you already know you can’t trust out the gate. If a person can’t be honest with themselves, they can’t be honest with you. I know you plan to fix them after you get married. It’s more likely their dishonesty and lack of integrity drags you down a dead end road. Integrity matters more than words can say. Make sure your future soul mate has this quality.
#3 MARRY SOMEONE WHO VALUES COMMITMENT. Does your future spouse understand that marriage is a commitment? Have they demonstrated someone who is responsible, loyal, and able to stand by a lifetime promise? If not, your marriage will start out on shaky ground. And, when the going gets tough, that person will likely move on to the next relationship. Commitment is not just an act, but can be seen in every area of a person’s life. You should never marry someone who just wants to see if this works out. You need someone who hell or high water wants to make this relationship work.
#4 MARRY SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU DESPITE YOU. This is something only time will reveal. We all go through seasons, ups and downs. True love will be there when all others fail. True love cares despite what is in it for them. True love sees beyond your shortcomings and loves you despite of you. This kind of love can only come from God. This kind of love is what sets apart the person God has for you from any other date.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-8) 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
#5 MARRY SOMEONE WHO KNOWS JESUS. I could write page after page on this one topic. Countless men and women marry someone who they know is Hell on wheels. Things might be fun now, but they will end in disaster later. I’m not saying they have to be pastor, the pope, or sing in the choir. What I am saying is that without a relationship with Jesus Christ that person is living as their own authority. The non-believer makes up life as they see fit, which keeps anything in life from thriving. The true believer seeks to do what God would have them to no matter what life brings their way. A right relationship with Jesus will keep any man or woman stable, committed, living with integrity, and loving you until they draw their last breath.